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CRIMSON AND CLOVER.

The universe has a way of getting me off my ass.I've been living, I guess, inexhaustibly sucking out the marrow of life. Politely.
I'm here, I'm here, A little late, a little lost but still as always, hella festive.
2019. It's a lot to sum up, I'm ever and always grateful for the strides, for the madness, the magic and everything in between. Time is fluid,  though,  Life is a continuum and Self-improvement is constant. but I'll spare you the small talk.
See, Love is one shitty ass ,crazy ass feeling. I've spent a lot of time  on me,
Some of which I've spent dreaming, visualising,  of a love that's my own. To have and to hold.
But ideas are distant, and ideas are dreamy, velvety cloths.
And I'm hung on ideas, hell bent on ideas, I was gifted and cursed  with such vivid imagination. and because of it I coin my own heartbreak.
I'm not heartbroken, not technically, not in the socially acceptable sense of the word. Things just don't necessarily always align with our ideas, and that&…
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Vérité

I'm drifting in and out of sleep,
the traffic lights are blinking
and the city,my city is both dead and alive.
I'm happy.

It's been a great night,
and I'm patting myself on the back,
No random calls,
no summoning of past ghosts,
no spineless wavy promises
made at the peak of bridges of songs.

"When the past calls,
don't answer
it has nothing new to say"

And this is just as true
on a Monday
as it is on a Saturday night
when your senses are dimmed.

But the heart wants what it wants
and humans have refined the art
of self-justification
propping up our egos or our will
on flaky ass, half truths
and skewed memories
and skewed interpretations of past experiences.

Not tonight though,
tonight
 I am present,
here,
conscious.
Probably more than I've been in a while.

And the stir in the back,
and the voices around me
rise,
and then drown around me.
Like raindrops drowning in puddles
when they hit the ground.
The banter,
 a classical piece at an occasion,
tucked …

LIBERTAS.

I've missed this,
I've missed us.

It's been a while,I miss our little talks
and I should tell you,I'm not at home,
Physically.

I know,I know
I've taught you to read deep into everything I say.

I want to tell you,
I hope to retire as a travel writer someday
God-willing,
but you should know that,
by now.

A travel writer, 
and later live in the mountains as some sort of philosopher
who documents on the revelations of enlightenment.
In my quieter years.

I want to tell you that
school is the same,
soulless and lifeless
and hamsters on a wheel.
I know you're reading this and laughing.

All the same I'm greatful for the strides.
and draw comfort from the knowledge
that it is He who orders my steps
and my being here is a step in the fulfillment
of my personal legacy.

Yes,yes.I finally read the Alchemist
and it was beautiful.

I'm greatful for the strides
overly,utterly indebted for the strides
and the light bearers that brighten my school days.

It's a glorious thing
when you're in the s…

GREY IS A COLOUR CHART.

"Tell me the truth of you
all the messed up muddled truth
and I will tell you mine
and we can be
forever 
the secret keepers
of each other's real"

-Atticus.

I love this.
The honesty,
The raw,refreshing honesty,
the raw refreshing honesty of an honest conversation.

"I like people on the table,open"
I like myself,on the table, open
and my favorite people
Heck my favorite things
are ranked based on the level of vulnerability they allow me to relish in.
How comfortable they are when my flower is in full bloom.

I like people,raw and honest
I like myself,raw and honest.
That Ella Mai 'naked'.

I like people
I like myself,
"Seeing what's lost behind flaws"

Bless her heart for creating a video
aimed at promoting body positivity and social change.

Honesty,vulnerability
as undeniable as chemistry,

Chemistry,
because it isn't something that can be hidden or faked.
It is something the body,heart and soul knows
even though the mind is unwilling to acknowledge or admit.

It's b…

LOVE IS A VINYL RECORD.

It's been a while since I held a book in my arms,
An actual hard copy,
It's been a while
since my fingers have creased pages,
since my thoughts have curled up on the blank spaces
between chapters.

I'm experiencing withdrawal,
and it's coming in the form of jerky neck reflexes
Every time I see a book stand.

I miss my boarding pass bookmarks,
I miss turning the pages
And I miss the mini-debate in my head,
deciding whether it's a good idea to highlight
the words/sentences/ideas I love the most.
There's an element of personality it gives it
but then again there's an eternal feel to a book with only words.

For person(s)
so eager to buy me drinks,
I'll send you a copy of my reading list.

If I was to put up dedications for this post,
and I have put thought into this unlike some of my words,
It would have to be
to my darling Julie.
And my kindred-writer-soul friend,Diggie.

I just feel that there's something about what I want to share
That they'll really understand,like really.
A…