"What is it about him?what is it about him?"
"They betrayed me."
En.ti.tled:
Believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
"...The brothers with the silver spoons those are the worst..."
"...When a man's been catered to his whole life because his family's got money or he's pretty,or the right shade of light......"
"....We silver spoon brothers think,that just because we went to private school or we were never jailed,black women should be there happy in our presence,I get away with this every single day..."
"Men like David don't know how to show up,.....that's the type of guy that's been cuddled his whole life..."
-P.J
Being Mary Jane.
The right shade of light,beautiful word play.The acceptable complexion.The badge of honor of a house negro,the damnation of a field negro or possibly equally the damnation of the house negro.The right side of the color chart,just gently grazed by the sun's rays.Modern day,in the thankfully ever-evolving beauty checklist,a source of entitlement.
They.They.They.He.She.You.You.Pronouns.A scanty definition if you ask me that describe the very words that are used wastefully by the entitled.The entitled such a broad category of humans that ironically despite history doing it's best to ensure the title belonged to a select few has managed to cut across all walks of the human race."I am because,he/she/they/you did." Interpretation "My current situation,mindset,lifestyle came to be because of reasons besides myself".Therefore I'm blameless,helpless and only a victim of fate or the actions of others.Hear Ye!Hear Ye!
They.They.They.He.She.You.You.Sources of comfort,sources of blame,sources of reason.Sources of entitlement.
Ubuntu.
I am who I am,because of who we all are.
A humanist philosophy.Human-ness. The belief in a universal bond that connects all humanity.We have dragged this word through the dirt,tainting it in every possible way and using it as the defense to the delusion of entitlement.That my happiness,wealth,success,health,way of thinking is the responsibility of a third party,there's always that someone else.
I believe that a large number of problems in the world are as a result of heaping our happiness and our success and virtually everything imaginable on the shoulders of others and seeking out situations and events to be the basis of the excuses we use not to thrive.We, unable to fly refuse to learn and blame those who nurtured us and society in general for giving us broken wings.
The entitled treat Ubuntu as a meal-card,and look at it not as a means to extend human kindness to others but for society to be held responsible for their circumstances.To be praised for their highs and blamed for their lows.
I've taken an interest in the mentality and the workings of the male mind,that's precisely why I'm such a faithful reader of Jackson Biko's(Uber-genius human) 'Male perspective',that and his witty humor. It sounds like I spend hours in some underground lab cracking their skulls open.I can't explain it,I love how guys think,how they reason,and their varying phobia of the complexities of their female counterparts.It's amusing really,so I do my best to explore and come to terms with their simple yet somewhat still complex minds.My friends may argue that 'My research' is what has caused me to be prone to making assumptions and fitting guys into some sort of box and slapping a single label on it.
And to this I say,labels are for soup cans,and save for some well known traits/characteristics most guys posses, I do still very much appreciate their uniqueness and individuality.
The thing is I'm not borderline sexist,so I'll use we,the fairer(which is also relative) sex as an example.Common stereotype 'Girls are drawn to money in guys'.I begin with this one because it's the most distasteful and degrading statement of all time(huge overstatement).
Especially in our society,it's a stereotype that lurks in the air like a bad smell.We all like nice things,fact.The temptation to acquire wants by less dignified means exists.Personally,I feel it's revolting for a girl my age(just shy of 21) to demand her basic(and basic in a girl's at times primadonna mind includes,the salon,clothes etc) needs/wants from a guy her own age,and I apologize on behalf of them,to any young man who has begged,borrowed,lied or stolen or even been turned down in the pursuit of satisfying her unrealistic demands.Take comfort in the fact that you are wiser and don't go around looking down and deeming every woman as a partaker of the gold rush,some of whom who take pride in hard day's work.
I find it equally distasteful to be rolling around in the sheets of hotel suites paid for by the pension of some octogenarian.My opinions have a lot to do with the way I was gratefully raised but still I refuse to use it as a saddle to place on a high horse,some of them have unspeakable childhood truths.However we are our choices sadly or thankfully but ultimately regardless of how we were woven.How do I even get here,my ability to digress so easily surprises me.
We were talking about stereotypes,right?
'Girls look for money in a guy'. Girls look for vision in a guy,
truth,fact.The only difference with the primadonna(I love this word) diggers of dimes is that they're are just a tad bit short sighted. They believe that a current full wallet represents a visionary man.This is so misguided it's slightly painful,especially at my age considering a good percentage of them are just 'spending daddy's money'.And in truth have no actual purpose,passion,or aim in life.
Darling,look at where he's going not where he's at.
In my book a steady career plan something preferably in line with today's current economic situation.I am slightly biased to something with an artsy ,practical element to it.But bottom line passion and love for whatever it is he's doing,I love to see the little light in a guy's eyes as he talks about what he loves.Wisdom and not the kind you get from a classroom.Self-drive,the ability to be his own man and the ability to make conscious decisions,stick by them and take responsibility for them.Vision.Priorities.The 'he's going far' starter package in my book.
Disclaimer honey,queens attract kings so radiate the qualities you demand in others. I might as well have a girl's talk column at this rate.
There I've addressed the stereotype,it's not gospel truth,disclaimer given individuality and what not.So yes we're drawn to vision(sounds odd) a stereotype but still truth.And subsequently guys,you also have your stereotype truths,you don't like long texts,you tend to be less emotionally attached to things(except sports and video games and your girlfriends at times) and you're more laid back you know things are generally are not that big of a deal so usually don't understand why we overreact.
So back to the male mind,It should've been pretty obvious by now you should cater for several coffee breaks when you think about sitting down to read this,I'm not stingy with words,although I'm hoping I've hypnotized you into some sort of trance and you just can't stop reading.In that case you're loyal and loyalty is attractive.
I realized that I and Chief Keef(total curve ball I know) share a birth year. And people wonder why I'm a golden age thinker.Call it denial of the present,whatever.And if you're a guy my age you must be thinking I'm using him as your torch bearer but that's besides the point.
Take a look at our society,guys my age(I should come up with an acronym for that it's tiring to write) and their fellow counterparts of all ages,conscious ages persistently hammer in the nails on chivalry's coffin.
Opening doors,giving your jackets when it's cold to a girl,giving girls way,general respect to girls and women has become merely the actions/responsibility of 'a kept nigga'.Where kissing a girl's hand is deemed pretentious and making an effort ,in terms of your dressing or even a polite gesture of bringing flowers along with when going to meet a lady friend has been deemed effeminate.
Chivalry,Chivalry,Chivalry. Such simple shows of kindness,Ubuntu if you will just to let your fellow human know that there is still some good in the world.
It goes both ways,the king and queen analogy I used earlier on.I stress on chivalry because it saddens me that not only are women and girls demeaned daily but also guys who respect women in both conduct and speech are ridiculed by their barbaric counterparts.
Chivalry was the conduct of knights,men of honour,men of valour and men of nobility.Needless to say,the respect of others is a display of profound respect for self.
Chivalry,what of it?
The lack of it,as well as the general ill-mannered nature of our young men,brings me to the lazy,arrogant, and self-centered mentality of entitlement.Blame society,blame the parents blame everyone and everything else,save for ourselves.It is them and not us.We are this way because of them,see how we've tarnished Ubuntu.
Chivalry is not inherent in our culture,but isn't kindness?
Isn't respect,isn't honor?.
I have come to find that 'entitled people' are one of the most vile of human forms.Young men are this way because of society,a guy can pass through girls like a train on tracks because of society,he cheated because of society,it's in his genes,polygamous culture,wayward parenting.We excuse him/them.He pardons himself,no remorse,no guilt. Bullshitt.
Young girls, dark rooms.Blinding a man of everything he built from the ground.Neglecting her children.She drains the soul of a kind man.
But don't you dare blame her,it's society,western education,wayward parenting.We excuse her.She pardons herself,no remorse,no guilt. Bullshitt.
That's gender categorization ,every ill in society we have ultimately refused to acknowledge the dominant power of choice and will.The perpetrators themselves refuse to acknowledge the influence of their personal decisions leading to the situations they find themselves in.We ourselves refuse to recognize the influence of our daily choices.
Nope,it's easier being life's victim.
Much more fun,being the star of your very own victim story.And you subtly demand but demand all the same empathy from everyone around you.
Mondays don't suck.
It's your job or life that does.
-Rop.
But let's go ahead and blame Monday,the moon being in the wrong position,your birth month. We've even dragged The Almighty into the blame cycle despite His never ending mercy to our undeserving souls.
The silver spoon brother: I am entitled because of my bank accounts,because I'm educated,I'm hella smart,I'm pretty,My parents were...,The system...,My ethnicity...,My belief system....That is why I am..that is why I deserve....
The silver spoon brother: I grew up with nothing,I'm not good enough,I have a terrible past,My parents were....,He/she/they/it did this to me..,The system,My ethnicity...,My belief system....That is why I am....that is why I deserve....
Whatever kind of silver spoon brother you are,truth is the world owes you nothing,it never has and it never will.It's been there long before you were and it'll be there long after.
Equally no one owes you anything(at least live with this belief).Entitlement is the quickest road to disappointment,and guarantees misery,a life of constant whining about how external forces plotted against you.
The worst is you subsequently radiate that misery to those around you, as you make them feel as if they are not good enough and they never will be and that life has short changed you once again when in truth,they can only humanly be a shadow of your deluded expectations.
So Dear Human,
Dear Self,
Quit your whining,Quit your malignant narcissism,Quit your 'somebody else' defense,
Quit watching life from the sideline,
Life happens to everyone,don't let it rain on your parade.
Don't ever feel entitled to cloud someone's day and
Quit giving your heart to he/she who feels they deserve your soul.
"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them"
-Khalil Gibran
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