I STIR.

I ran into this girl,she said" why you always blaming?"

"Why can't you just face it?"

..............

"Why you always talking shit,always be complaining?

"Why you always gotta be,why you always gotta be so mad?

               I got alot to be mad about.

↠Solange(MAD)

Here's the thing I'm hangover.

And not the good kind and you're probably wondering is there really a good kind of hangover?

Well yes,yes there is

There's the kind of hangover after one of those blissful nights.

You know the kind that you wake up with that bloody blissful nostalgia of the heightened emotions,the free existing,the lights,the laughter.
The taste of liquor still racing around on your tongue and his scent lingering around you like a bad yet thrilling dream.

I'm the bad kind of hangover though,

You know when you wake and it's like there's a ton of bricks weighing down on your head and you feel sick,
sick to your stomach.
And the memories are not so good,and they're coming in waves and this makes you feel even sicker.

I'm that kind of hangover,

But alcohol isn't to blame.

It was the 8th of March and I was absolutely sick to my stomach.

Interesting thing I did learn about alcohol though,

is (Brandy) VSOP,the abbreviation stands for Very Superior/Special  Old Pale

Meaning it's been aged in wood for at least 4-5 years.

And Brandy XO(extra old) aged in wood for around 6 years.

And people ask me why I fawn over magazines in the salon or the waiting room.Because that's the beauty of knowledge or  wisdom for that matter
 you never know where you can pick it up,
Just got to keep your mind open and
 you'll realize no single occurrence is wasteful.

Now there's a possibility you already knew that

because you're some kind of brandy connoisseur or because you just have a curious mind(bless your soul)

 but because we live in a highly ignorant society,

I just found myself,a new pick up line.

I was angry in an absolute rage,alright.

That 8th of March.

I am in fact talking about International Women's day

and yes it would be highly advised that you take out your umbrella.

What happened?

Nothing,and I mean absolutely nothing.

And that's the freaking problem.

I went on and on last time,

About our generation standing for nothing.

Living for no higher purpose than to be a cookie-cutter.

Well no greater display of this was seen on the 8th of March.

Now you might be thinking,I'm narcissistic 

just because we don't stand for your cause,

doesn't mean we don't stand for a cause,right?

Because IWD,is a feminist's Easter right?

Because women applaud themselves and each other

for standing firm and striving despite the agitating grip of patriarchy.

Because it's a day for them to air out grievances about how the world,the system,men and God knows who else has wronged them and continues to wrong them.

Because it's a day for spouses and partners to wish their significant female others a happy IWD and maybe throw in a word or two 
(And for the noble ones)

who will pour out in paragraphs and deeds

their gratitude and appreciation  for their females

lest they forget and undermine the established balance and peacful co-existence.

So what does that have to do with you?

And of course there are the ones who woke up that day and thought,

Well they're darn hypocrites,preaching equality then endowing themselves with 24hrs to be reminded of their value and their worth.

Aren't they always the ones singing from every bloody rooftop about self worth and self love?

And why isn't there an International Men's day,we play a significant role in their lives as well as fathers,as sons,as husbands,boyfriends etc.

We're the ones who  have to take in their fury,
protect,provide,
constantly feel like we're not living up to a Channing,or a Gosling,or a Heughen or an Elba and they live in constant dissapointment because of this.

Yet they're the ones who go on and on about

media having unrealistic beauty standards they must live up to.

So why don't we have that 24hrs to be lauded with their appreciation of us and have them fanning our self worth.

So damn the feminist cause and the femi-nazi day.

And there are of course my most distasteful group of people

You'd think the humans,I described above are my least favourite group of people

I have dozens of them around me,

I keep them around me,I feed off their energy and they feed on mine,
We help each other grow.

They get my mind racing,

they challenge me,they exhaust me

they keep me standing on my desk

to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.

That's a Dead Poet's Society reference,

I told you to watch it.

We agree to disagree,

only if time catches on to us,or routine 

but only after they've satisfied my thirst for a good argument,

 A beautiful exchange of thoughts and ideas.

We think,we feel,we take it all in,
we let an idea,thought,belief,opinion bounce around in our minds,
we weigh it,and we measure it,and if we find it wanting

then and only then do we draw out our swords.

We do not simply feed on what's given to us.

We don't simply disapprove things because they are to be disproved.

Nor do we approve things because they are to be approved.

We're simply two sides of the same of the coin,our  perspectives may differ,but the metal is all the same.

I'm highly argumentative,there are very few things I take lying down.

You can ask them,they all thought I'd end up a lawyer.

I love the exchange it has nothing to do with being right,

That's where my intentions tend to be misinterpreted.

See the last group of people,(if we're looking at the three groups those who make things happen,those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened)

They are your Kermit(s),your overly passive human beings.They have no opinion of anything that goes on around them,they simply feed on what's given to them.
Approve because it is to be approved.
 Disprove what needs to be disapproved.

Now there are those among them who take in information and it goes unchanged,like when you swallow a button,the information stirs nothing,evokes nothing,inspires nothing.

Just goes from in from one end and out the other.Nothing extracted.They bob their head to every other top hit,and save for the snazzy beat or the happy or sad vibe it gives they can't comment much else.And let's not even go to TV,or film or books or even interactions with their fellow human being,to them it's all just entertainment.An insult to the genius that lies behind such creations.

They're here to do one thing and one thing only,
to proclaim and live out their invisible slogan

"To be the wave that I am

and sink back to the ocean"

→Fiona Apple(The Container)

Or maybe that's not it,they've just come up with their own way of life and they believe nothing should shake that safe house.

They stay quiet in conversations and arguments,

they share the opinion of a doormat on most things,well unless you know there's literally blood spilling at their doorstep.

Passive and numb,

unshaken 

unstirred.

As tasteless as a martini served as the former or latter.

Tell your stories.
If people wanted you to write warmly about them,they should have behaved better.
-Anne Lamott

So all three groups were in full display on the 8th March,

I needn't say which group dominated.

I need to finish this.
The content will be redundant.
And besides they want me back.

They chew me and spit me out as they please,
And I let them.
And I'm supposed to resume,and with charm and grace
accept the backlash of their actions and swallow it whole and smile.
I let them.
I signed up for this,after all.
But I draw comfort from the fact that I do not serve them,
this is not for them.Or for their children.
And I will turn my back,when they will need me,and they will ache for my healing touch.
And I will say no.

And they'll insult me and throw patriotism in my face and public service and community and I shan't look back.

From the minute I walked in
You tried to assure me it was all in my best interests,You tried to blind me

Tried to fix me up,
but I'm not broken
All you do is leave me stained.
-Astrida S.

I see you rigging the system in your favour
You steal my youth.And I live and breathe at your pleasure.
I serve something higher and one higher than all your titles and self-adorned accolades.And I shall live and breathe as is fit.
I just must first take what I'll need
from your filthy blood stained hands handcuffed by greed.
Let not my silence fool you,I see you,for all you are.


Struggles of a medical student in as society who's leaders could care less about healthcare or education for that matter.

You should be angry at a system that's designed to dissect us into every possible grouping,completely ignoring the fact that we are individual,alone,unique,one of a kind.
And it's a marketing gold mine.

For colored girls.For the alpha male.For skinny girls.For the metro sexual male.For the fuller figure.For the introvert.Gender,Race,Religion,Body type and blah,blah,blah.
And if you're female the division is infinite,

I learnt my hair type is a bridge between 4b and 4c.
It's nappy and hella African,oh and black as the midnight hour when did that stop being enough?


We're institutionalized to categorize ourselves in these groups.
And to see the world only from the eyeglasses they gave us.
Life as a black girl,life as a white guy,as a Muslim,Christian what have you.
And you form your perspectives of people based on your labels,
Based on their labels
People are never just people,no
They are categorized,classified and we must obey.

I see this every time someone gets to know me,
and they make comments like,"I didn't take you for...."
"I never though you were".or "I thought you were like...."
And I get this often(I'm sure lots of people do)
I wonder if I should wear one of those 80's jean jackets with the iron-on badge patches with labels echoing what's in my head and heart and soul.
And I watch the light in your eyes flicker and then glow
As you marvel at my 'difference' and 'my rareness'.
And then I wonder which two people are the same.

You didn't know me,
You thought you did,
I was categorized and classified like the rest of them,
And you believed it,until I began disapproving your theories and your beliefs,
and then you were interested 
and then something lit up in your soul.

And then you wondered if there were more like me,
And you wondered whether you were the only one not in the loop.
And you watched in awe us I unraveled before your sight.

I can't blame you,
I surprise myself sometimes.

See the thing is,if you saw people for who they are and not some misguided perceptions you shelf away in your un-expanded mind,
Your eyes would always be filled with that child-like wonder.
And you'd be marveled and dazzled after every hello.

But I get it,
The classification,the categorization
It's less confusing,safer,easier,more convenient.
Like all the gadgets we've made to disconnect ourselves from really what is.

Behind every face there's a story,a soul,a spirit that vibrates to a certain unique rhythm.
But you don't see that you see a face,you see a body
Truth is 
There isn't a person you wouldn't love,if you knew their story.

If you knew what kept them awake at night,
what wakes them up every morning,
Ah now to this you may answer a prayer or religion,
But beyond that there's a level of spirituality,there's a connection to a Higher being,there is faith,there's a conviction,there is a belief.
And none of these are present in equal measure in any two people.

If you knew where they've come from,where they are,where they're going.
If you knew the width and the breadth of the monsters in their head.
If you knew the song they have on replay and 
the people they look up to.

If you know the one thing or the things they love and treasure the most and would give everything for,
If you knew why they are here and why they think they are here.
Bet,you'd see them differently.

Woman.
Bet you'd see her differently.
And yes,I see you learn quickly.
This too is a categorization.Division based on gender.
And as all classifications,it has it's own signature traits,and characteristics.

But let us not think of women as a whole let us look at individuals,
I watched a sickly child turn to her mother telling her she wanted to throw up,
and I saw the mother frantically look around looking for literally anything that would contain the vomit,finding nothing she cupped her hands and the child dug her face in her palm and threw up,and threw up each time more intense than the last.And her mother held her hands up  as if it was rain falling from the skies.

That's the beauty and the curse of medicine,you see humanity in it's rawest and lowest form,you feel the desperation,the clinging on to every flicker of hope,the depiction of that drowning man with the often lacking reassurance of medical personnel being that hypothetical straw.And it knows no creed,colour,social status or what have you.
It's sheer helplessness,lying there,
waiting for your fate to be determined.

It's humbling,especially those not favoured by the system it fills you up with immeasurable gratitude,it makes you angry at a system, at a government that cares far too little about the well-being of those it is sworn to protect,It inspires you 
It makes you feel like you'll do whatever it takes,anything to alleviate even a bit of their pain.

Woman.
Her blatant selflessness doesn't in the least bit defend the honor,virtue,valour of womenkind.
How could it?
Her deed was so little after all,and I'd have probably missed it if I wasn't oriented in their direction.Besides it was a TV show,and we know how Hollywood prides itself in distorting the truth.

I want to remind you of a woman's love,
A mother's love
Steve Harvey phrased it beautifully in his book
"Nothing can compare with a woman's love
It is kind and compassionate and nurturing
generous and sweet.And pure.
Umm the whole excerpt you can have a read on a woman's love by Steve.
That's a woman's love,it stands the test of time,logic and all circumstance."

He's referring to Eros love,when a woman truly,truly loves you,but I feel like if you're around my age then you haven't truly received that love or given it.
But read that last part again,sure we've had our share of love stories that have defied logic,but I feel like you'd be lying if you can tick the other two on that checklist.
But hey,what do I know?

But I'll refer to a mother's love or a mother-figure's love,
And I needn't labor on it's depth,on it's richness,on it's purity,on it's divinity.On the uncountable accounts on the lengths mothers go to and have gone to to assure the well-being of their seed,jeopardizing their very safety and well-being even at times sacrificing life all for the mere possibility of a sunnier tomorrow for their child,Even amidst horrors that have tainted history wars,massacres,genocides,slavery,the destruction of civilizations,and discrimination.Mother's have endeavored against all logic,in all circumstances to give their children something more something better.And if this doesn't inspire and move the heck out of you,I don't know what will.
In any turmoil there is a mother and there is a child.The love of a mother for her child is a force,a power so strong it would light up the world if it were harnessed.
I hear it is so powerful the minute you deliver a child and hold it in your arms,this boundless love for this new being shatters all darkness within you.

Woman.
But not all women are mother's,not all even aspire to be and not all embody this divinity.
But there are victors that have shattered the very pillars they were chained to,I always picture the evil behind 'The system' is some bald white guy,who aimed at creating a kind of balance in the world,a level of stability for him and his kin and to destroy all that was not like him,was the only way to attain the balance.

He didn't know any better,and the folly of human beings which we still embrace today is how we despise and shun what we do not understand.
And in the spirit of defiance and self-actualization you have your first woman this and that.And we clapped and applauded and built statues and named halls and hospitals after them and parks and buildings.

Woman.
But I and countless others have never been denied anything based on gender,on the contrary privilege has been accorded to us that we mustn't soil our dainty hands.
So why the whole bloody 24 hrs?
If not for mothers,heroines in their own right and the wonderful female beings that decorate our lives as daughters,sisters,friends and girlfriends and wives and colleagues and workers and bosses.

If not for how she juggles it all,and still keeps those edges slicked.
If not for how she turns a house into a home.
If not for how long she makes you wait as she gets ready but you'd wait a thousand more years just to catch a glimpse of how good she cleans up.haha.
And how radiantly she emerges from behind closed doors.
If not for the gentleness and comfort in her voice to nurse all your wounds.
If not for how a single touch can rid you body of every ache.
If not for that smile and laugh that can launch a thousand ships.
If not for those eyes that command every sense in your body.
If not for those crafted curves and lines 
and the adorable things she does when she thinks your not  looking.
If not for how she lets you embrace her in your arms and no matter how much you can lift on a bench press,you still feel like the strongest man alive and you love how she takes comfort in your protection.

If not for that,then for love.

See the thing with the categorization 
The organisation,the classification,
It's aimed at division,if you are for one then you are not for the other,Pro-this is anti-this.Anti-(stereotypical)masculinity is pro-gay,pro-female is anti-male,pro-religion A is anti-religion B. And so forth and so on.

But why can't we  simply be pro-love and Anti-discrimination?
Discrimination exists,believe what you will,But it exists.
Discrimination against men,women,Muslims,Christians,Hindus,Blacks,Whites,Hispanics,Asians,people with fuller figures(basically insert any grouping created by society),
All that's differs is the numbers and the severity.
Discrimination is discrimination.And it births from hate.And that hatred from misunderstanding or not understanding at all.
Be grateful,your bubble safeguarded you from this cruel reality,
but don't you dare,don't you bloody dare undermine someone's struggle.And don't you dare deny it's existence.Just because it is not your reality does not mean it is not a reality in some part of the world for someone.

And that is why I am angry,and that is why I'm angry
at a system that has us fighting for basic human rights for individuals or groups of individuals in 2017.Take police brutality against African Americans this has been going on for generations looked over by every administration that has assumed power,Racial.We still have people hiding out to attend church services,and we have the wearing of hijabs being seen as a security threat.Religious.The wage gap,the trial of rape cases,the gay-bashing,the emotionally detached badge we're so eager to pin on men.Gender.And I could go on and on.

I'm angry at the injustice of a system we haven't realized is already rigged,
They intend to have you pay bills and then fill up another hole in the ground.
I'm angry at all the hatred we seep out
 and the hope and peace we drain from each other because of pre-determined affiliation/loyalty groups or alliances.
And I'm angry at those who sit in the  sidelines,and live in some kind of utopia because that simply isn't their struggle.

If you're not angry.You're not paying attention.

Hate is an ideology that is learned and can be unlearned,so yes if you cannot stand in the front line to fight social injustice,talk about it,create awareness,spread knowledge and truth,but if you cannot do that,Then simply preach and radiate love.Love  unifies all,preached by all religions.It is your moral duty,that if you cannot help another,then at the very least do not harm them,let us celebrate our differences.

Cause as human beings we were destined to radiate or drain.
Ed Sheeran(Save myself)
Yes I did finally listen to the album.

We radiate or drain.
If you do not give,you take away.
Don't kid yourself that there's an in between.


Let us undermine efforts to propagate hate or efforts to undermine others existence or others prosperity.
We are all different that's the one thing in common.

So why can International Women's day not be a celebration for all,why must we look at it as if it's taking away something from someone else 
why can't we take a day to acknowledge the accomplishments,to celebrate,the past,the present and the future of womankind.
And make some noise about it,litter it on social media(way more uplifting than your new tattoo or what you had for dinner) and in your text messages and meetings and phone calls,speak about love and not only these days but on all days.
Love looks at it,that a win for them is a win for us.
A win for any 'grouping' is a win for humanity.

And by all means may the fellas drum up a lobby group to champion the establishment of an International Men's Day,to celebrate the heroes,the sons,the brothers,the boyfriends,the husbands,the friends,the colleagues,the workers,the bosses.
A win for y'all is a win for us.It has nothing to do with polishing egos it has to do with the celebration of love,like a skyline message from one set of humans to another,


Love can change the world in a moment,
but what do I know?
-Ed Sheeran.